Confessions of a former pastor ...

Well this morning was finally the event that has forced me to turn in my pastors "card". I was driving to church, down the stretch of Clearbrook road that skirts the airport, and saw some guy on his long-board heading south. It seemed kind of odd to see a guy in the middle of nowhere at 8:15 on an October morning on his long-board. As is my normal habit I pulled up right behind him and lay on the horn ... No, no , no, of course not! As any good driver would I drifted left to give him lots of room. As I passed him I glanced over to see, to my surprise, Duncan Ris on the board! This began an internal conversation in my head. "Why is Duncan boarding to church? Is this intentional, or does he not have a car today? Maybe he wants the exercise ... I mean after all, he's probably not in nearly as good a shape as I am. Should I pull over? Will the car behind me hit me if I quickly veer to the shoulder and then hammer on the brakes? He must be working really hard on that board since it's not that warm out and yet he's got his jacket slung under his arm."

And with that ... I was at the corner of Huntingdon and Clearbrook, with Duncan only a speck in my rear-view mirror. Hours later when Duncan finally pulled into church (okay ... minutes) I made a critical mistake. I asked the wrong question. "Duncan, would you have wanted me to stop and pick you up?" I was expecting him to reply with "No, thanks for not stopping because I really needed the exercise and had you stopped, I probably wouldn't have had the willpower to not simply crawl ... exhausted ... into your car and just leave my board there alone on the side of the road!" Nope. Instead he said "Yeah, that would have been great." Oops. And then he said something to the effect of "If you won't stop for someone you know I suppose you probably wouldn't be stopping for a stranger!"

As I said ... my pastors card is in the mail and headed back to ... well ... wherever pastors cards come from.

I wonder if my experience illustrates a couple reasons why we struggle sometimes to meaningfully connect with people in our community who we bump into ... people who don't know Jesus. First, I wonder if we make erroneous assumptions. God may present us with a "divine appointment" with a person and yet we may miss out because we internally assume things that end up not being true. "They probably don't feel a need to know Jesus." "If I tried to share about Jesus with them I may only offend them and push them further from Jesus." "They probably don't have time to talk right now, they look busy." Are those things all potentially true? Yup. They are also potentially false. I thought Duncan wanted to skateboard to church. Clearly, I was wrong.

Second, when we're not prepared to act, we have the potential to miss the moment. They more we are held captive to the internal dialogue ... the longer we debate the pros and cons of talking to people about Jesus ... the more likely it is that by the time we make a decision to act, the moment has passed. The persons in line at the Starbucks pick up counter has already had their coffee made and they're our the door. The mom you were standing beside at the school playground has already picked up her kids and is halfway home. Sometimes the window is small ... the moment of opportunity is fleeting ... and the longer we debate in our minds whether or not it's worth sharing about Jesus in a particular situation, the greater the chance the the opportunity disappears. We are more likely to act in the moment if we've decided ahead of time that we will step into whatever situation God brings our way. We need to be prepared to act. The truth is ... the longer I let the internal discussion go in my mind this morning, the further down the road I got and the less likely I was to pick up Duncan. The moment had passed. I mean ... u-turns are illegal ... right?!?!?

So that's my story. I wish I could say that it's only true of me in the situation this morning ... but unfortunately some of the parallels I've drawn above hit close to home too often. Is this just my experience of life, or do you find yourself in similar circumstances ... kept from action because of an internal dialogue that goes on and then missing the moment as a result?

Oh ... and a word to the wise ... if you ever see a guy who resembles Duncan out in the middle of nowhere riding his long board, your day will go a lot better if you'd just stop and pick him up!

Unable to Identify

God’s ultimate act of evangelism was the incarnation of Jesus: “the Word became flesh and blood moved into the neighbourhood” (John 1:14). What is so powerful about this is that God became like us, he profoundly and ultimately identified with us both in his life and death. Jesus made himself low that He might raise us up. One of my most profound experiences of evangelism was on the Downtown Eastside during Urban Mission Adventure with CBC. It was pouring rain, no one wanted to go out to do random acts of kindness or prayer walk or anything. I had hated feeling like a tourist for the past two days and was a bit grumpy. Our team leader told us we were going to go give out cookies. “Great,” I thought cynically, “these people are broken, bleeding, and dying down here and we are going to save them with cookies.” I deliberately put on a sweatshirt and a thick plaid over-shirt, neither the least bit waterproof, and we set out to give out cookies. Pretty soon, with rain streaming down my face, my hair soaked, and the wet starting to penetrate through my layers of clothing, I suddenly started tasting, ever so slightly, one of trials of being down, there the challenge of staying warm and dry. The wetter and colder I got, the happier I was to give away cookies, the happier I was to eat a cookie, the more meaning I found in the whole experience. Because I was, with increasing integrity, able to say more than just “here’s a cookie” I was able to say through my actions “I am here with you, in this cold, wet, miserable place and I have I left the comfort of my home to be here with you, to experience this and to bring goodness, in the form of a cookie.” This experience has profoundly shaped my understanding evangelism as requiring incarnation. I cannot evangelize from a position of power and otherness, I have to identify with people, I have to move into the neighbourhood, I have to feel their pain and then I am able to with integrity share good news with friends. I have to prove that the good news can be for them with my life before my words have meaning. My first challenge is always to identify with those I serve, when I am unable or unwilling to identify with them, to be with them, to live like them, how will they ever believe that my words apply to their lives?

First Corinthians 9:22-23:

²²To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. ²³I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. 

Will I become weak?

(Photo by roland)

Local vs. International

Is evangelism easier overseas? I feel like it is… I am significantly more comfortable speaking to strangers when on a short term missions trip. So what’s different? I am more focused and more available. For two weeks or whatever length the trip is, virtually 100% of my time is available for whatever need may arise or for whoever may request my time or offer theirs. For two weeks my only responsibility is to love people and seek God, I don’t have to figure out rent or juggle two part time jobs, homework, TV, video games or whatever other responsibilities and activities back home distract and consume my time. Furthermore, the only people I know are working with me. We are part of a team and there is a single focus. At home, I am part of two families, multiple groups of friends, church, work etc. There is little cohesive sense of team at all in my life and certainly not with an eye to outreach. On a trip I am given a role which contributes to a larger vision, at home I struggle to define or see a larger vision which encompasses all of my life and relationships. Where is my missions team at home? What is our mission?

Too Many Friends

“I don’t need any more friends.” This is a statement that not only have I heard multiple times but also resonates in my own life. It is something I began reflecting on in the post “Walking in it” and have continued to reflect on. The question is: “What does evangelism cost?” After considering my own life and also talking to others I am convinced that most of us are too busy to commit extra time to evangelism. So can some of our existing time be transformed, redeemed and more intentionally outward focused? Do we have to say “no” to some “good” things or relationships in our lives in order to make ourselves available for new relationships? A friend of mine recently talked about evangelism as being faithful in the small things: the smile, the greeting, the conversation, the question… I appreciated his perspective and admit that I can sometimes create an overwhelming picture of evangelism that is so daunting I am unable to even begin. But I would add to his description the need to be open for more. It is only of slight value if you greet someone but won’t talk with them, if you will talk but will not offer contact information, if you will meet for coffee but not in your home. If at the same moment you begin a relationship you are ensuring its end, this does little to further the gospel. However, relationships do start with smiles, greetings and small talk – so let us be faithful in the small things and be open to where God might lead.

Update: I have not been very faithful in walking my neighbourhood regularly but I have walked it more often. Last week I walked around the field with a Punjabi neighbour, he didn’t speak English very well and I don’t speak Punjabi so we just walked. Despite, the lack of conversation it was a pleasant walk and I found significance in the human ability to connect even without words. I am still looking for a venue or activity to attend or participate regularly in order to make myself available for those who need relationship.

Motivation and Relationship

Over the summer someone made a fake version of our blog and posted a critique:

Transparent Motives

what if you initiated a conversation with someone as outlined in the seminars at church and they then asked you where you learned about soul cravings and then you told the truth that you had been trained to initiate conversations for the purposes of conveying your spiritual beliefs and went on to confess that you were going to go back to your church and relay the outcome of the conversation.

i would think that they would feel manipulated and devalued. i feel like it would immoral to coerce someone into spiritual conversation intentionally keeping information from them.

Mike

Someone else posted a comment and response

But aren't we as christians commanded to preach the good news to people? In season and out of season according to Paul. the difference is love and sincerity. We preach not just because we are commanded to, but out of love and concern for their eternal salvation. We can easily get hung up on the details but if you are doing something out of love, your motive is pure and you have nothing to worry about.

Paul

I think Mike makes an excellent critique worth addressing and that Paul responds well. I was so sad that these comments and this discussion did not occur on our blog that I have copied them here in order to weigh in.

Mike’s post argues that there is an element of deception and depersonalization in evangelism, particularly this kind systematized of “relationship” evangelism… and so I ask the question: Is there a deception? Does evangelism training depersonalize “the non believer”? Have I depersonalized just now with that phrase?

Paul responds with both the Biblical mandate to witness and also love. I think to expand the argument might be to say that love is always intensely personal and deeply values the beloved. But is Soul Cravings evangelism always loving?

I think the truth is that evangelism in general has in the past often not been loving and not been personal. It has been tracts and blitzes and crusades. We systematize evangelism in order to empower people to share their faith. We have coined terms like relational evangelism and yet are too often clueless and unwilling to engage in real relationships. I would suggest that training in effective relationships would be more useful than evangelism training and that if our evangelism is ineffective it is a deficiency in our love and relationships not our conversational techniques. The assumption of the training is not that people are talking to strangers but friends, real friends. It is also assumed that the friendship exists on its own and that the person is not merely a target or a project. When we enter into relationships our purpose has to be to love, not to convert. Our relationship is strengthened as we share deeply of ourselves, including our faith, and allow the other to do likewise. For the relationship to be real both parties must be impacted by the life and ideas of the other and cherish the other regardless of conversion. We must love the other not only for their likenesses to us but also our differences, which allow us to learn from and challenge each other.

Finally, this blog is not about reporting about trophy conversations but rather discussing the process, success, failure, future and present need of Christian witness in Abbotsford. How do we do it? Why? Where? What attitudes do we have? Does our culture have? How is God moving? And how is he calling us to be a part of His work in Abbotsford? Soul Cravings is not a conversion system but some language and words to help those trapped in the Christian bubble speak intelligibly about their faith to others. However, it must be more than words! If we cannot say that we have experienced God’s Intimacy and a sense of Destiny and found Meaning as a result of faith, we have no right to promise these things to others. Soul Cravings offers us non-Christianese language to describe the Christian experience, it presupposes that we have a living, vibrant and active faith that is deeply fulfilling. Soul Cravings helps remind us that we are more like others than we are different.

Witnessing to Christians

In my last post I discussed a bit what might be called “accidental witnessing.” Some of my thoughts were particularly inspired by Jonathan Acuff’s post on the subject (stuffchristianslike.com). My questions today are: What about intentional witnessing to Christians? Does evangelism stop when we have prayed “the prayer” or do we continue need to hear the good news and experience salvation? Is there a difference between witnessing to Christians versus non Christians versus Satanists? What is it? Do we get more points for witnessing to Satanists?

So what is witness? Wikipedia describes a witness as a person with firsthand knowledge of an event through their senses. Witnesses are therefore able to testify to the even they experienced. I think this can help refocus some unhelpful perceptions regarding “witnessing”. I often feel like what we mean when we talk about evangelism or “witnessing” is a gospel presentation or “bait and switch” relationship building that is gearing up for the “gospel presentation”. In contrast, Wikipedia’s definition of witness helps me gain perspective and remember that it is actually about giving testimony to Jesus’ work in my life. I am so uncomfortable with “turn or burn” evangelistic “crusades” that I forget that evangelism is intimately connected with experiencing and recognizing God’s work in my own life and sharing those experiences with others. If I am not experiencing or recognizing God’s work in my own life, how can I share about it? How can I convince someone else regarding the reality of my faith and the reality of Jesus, if I am not experiencing it as real?

The beauty of this is that it is easy to talk about stuff that is going on in your life presently. We talk about stuff that’s going on in our lives, especially good stuff. I think this is why new Christians find it easier to talk about their faith, its news, it just happened, its affecting everything. Too often we have made salvation a onetime event that slowly becomes harder and harder to remember and talk about relevantly as it becomes farther away. I would like to suggest that salvation is also an ongoing event that we should be continually experiencing. I would also like to suggest that evangelism and witness is anything and everything you do that brings or draws anybody nearer to Jesus. With that being said go ahead and witness to your Christian and non Christian friends and any Satanists who will listen or spend any time with you at all. Talk about what God is doing in your life right now, and be there to love the people around you. If you aren’t sure what God is doing, sit down with a pastor, mentor or friend and think back on the past month and year specifically considering the question “How has God worked in my life?” Another option would be to consider checking out a spiritual direction session at the Mark Centre.

Personally, I have seen God’s provision in my job here at the church and driving an Ice Cream truck this summer. I had needed a flexible part time job to supplement my internship and nothing was coming up. In May I prayed with someone on the prayer team during a Sunday Service – by Tuesday I had the Ice Cream Truck job and started the following Monday. I also perceive God to be teaching me about loving people and being considerate of the ways each person is unique. What does it mean to “become all things to all men that by all possible means I might save some” (1 Cor. 9:22)? How do I adjust myself to people’s unique needs while remaining authentically myself? These are some questions I am sitting with and reflecting on as they are pertinent to some of my relationships right now.

How is God working in your life?

How have you experienced salvation recently?

Blessings?

As Christians we know we are supposed to be witnesses. But most of up don’t really want to stand on soap boxes and some of us find it difficult and uncomfortable to work the four spiritual laws into casual conversation. So we find other ways to testify for our faith like saying “God bless you” when somebody sneezes, “bless you” also counts and perhaps you could say “Jesus Bless you” for bonus points. We also might say “God bless you” as a closing greeting of a conversation. The great thing about blessings is that they’re so positive almost nobody will be offended. But when they are dropped in casual conversation they also communicate loud and clear “I am a Christian and would love to tell you about Jesus, if you want, but I don’t want to pressure you or be confrontational (unless we are talking about homosexuality or abortion)” At least that is sort of what I hear. It’s also a great test phrase, kinda like drawing a fish in the sand. If the other person is already a Christian they can now feel comfortable telling you which church they go to or sing a verse of their favourite Matt Redman song (stuffchristianslike.com). Of course it’s also kind of awkward because you know they just kinda tried to witness to you and perhaps you don’t want to discourage them so you don’t do anything and just smile encouragingly.

This is what happened to me: I was driving the ice cream truck...

And I stopped for a nice family who was buying their child ice cream for the first time. I am wearing my big colourful “cat in the hat” style hat that I always wear selling ice cream. Since it was the little boy’s first ice cream truck experience I wanted it to be a good one. So after delivering the ice cream into his hands I performed a quick but impressive juggling routine. In response, the mother tipped me and said “God bless you!” I responded “Thank you, you too” and sung a little “Blessed Be Your Name” in my head. What made it a particularly good witness was the tip, a small but immediate and tangible blessing, symbolic of spiritual blessings.

The only thing better would be a blessing instead of a tip at a restaurant. I don’t know if people actually do this but I feel like sometimes we attach a cash value to blessings. It’s like we think we can spend some of the treasure we know we are storing up in heaven with all our witnessing on credit and let God settle up the bill. It’s like if we say “God bless you” instead of giving spare change, we are sure that YHWH’s reign of shalom is going to pour down from heaven bringing healing and abundance to that homeless person’s life, not necessarily immediately, or we might wait to see it happen, but sometime while we have moved onto our other important errands. We also have just offered to talk about Jesus to that person (if we ever see them again) and we have an amazing testimony to share at our life group. Don’t get me wrong, I think blessings can be important and powerful but, precisely because they are, let’s not use them as a cop outs.

Is the phrase “God Bless You” effective in witness?

Why is it difficult to talk about our spirituality?

Have you ever received “spiritual help” when you needed physical help?

Has Soul Cravings given you a format that helps you relate your faith to life in a way that makes it easier to talk about?